My parents saved each other. Had they not found one another, I don't know what would have become of them.

My dad was a drug addict. An unhappy, violent young man. My mom was so vulnerable, so damaged, so open to destruction.
I thank God that they found each other. They were given a gift that is rare: an absolute, true, passionate, gentle, unconditional and lasting love. Very few ever know such a love, although so many live in search of it.
Their journey wasn't without strife. They were dysfunctional, damaged, hedonistic people. They had two small children and lived in poverty. It was them against the world. Our home was filled with utter chaos and love.

It's been over a year since my dad's death. I still miss him, still cry for him. But more than anything, I cry for my mom. For her loss. For the fact that they were parted. I watch her now; I see how strong and brave she is, I see how she tries. I know the detriment of her loss and how cruel it was.

I would like to give my dad back to her. I would like to undo their separation. I know that he waits for her in another place. How could he not when he loved her so? But while his journey in this world came to an end, her's carries on, and I know she is lonely for her Peter.
She used to make him promise, when he was alive, long before the cancer came, that he wouldn't leave her behind. And when the end came he was so sorry to break his promise. He knew what would follow and how much she would miss him.
How can I express such a loss? How can I tell the world and make it understand what was taken away from this woman? That I nor any other have ever witnessed such a love. And when he left, they lay in each others arms.

My God, the price we pay for love. What a gift, what a blessing, to be taken away so early, to leave her without him now. If I think on it too much I am filled with grief. I pray to God that he walks with her until my dad comes to take her home with him. I don't doubt it, but I wish I could shelter her from the pain of absence.
How can it be that my dad is dead and my mom is without him? How can one be without the other?
If I could, I would give them back to each other. Their's was such a rare and beautiful love. He loved her so much. There was only her.